Fasten your seatbelts

Joe and Evie turned 3 just over a month ago.
It's been 2 years (!!!!!!!) since their last blog update, 
and boy have they been busy.


They can talk
They can draw
They can dance
They can delete photos from an iPhone.....


AND NOW THEY'RE BACK ONLINE.


So watch this space for more hilarious antics and mayhem from your favourite twins.

12 months old - HAPPY BIRTHDAY US!

Happy Birthday to us
Happy Birthday to us
Happy Birthday to uuuuuuuuuuusssssssssss
Happy Birthday to us

Yes - regular readers will realise that this month marks an historic occasion - we have graced you with our presence (not presents - see later) for a whole year, and man have we changed.

Only a year ago, Joe was the image of innocence, barely moving, barely speaking, in fact it was difficult not to smile and "coo-coo" him for just about anything...

A year on, M+D have calculated that they say "Joe, NO!" on average 4.3 times per day - which rises to 10.7 when he's in the lounge anywhere near Dad's Panasonic flatscreen (well the finger prints are a NIGHTMARE to get off).

Evie on the other hand, has [literally and metaphorically] been a handful all year!

Sigh - M+D remember fondly the first week of her life - she was sooo tiny, and it was difficult to get her to take a few ounces of milk, she was in an incubator the whole week - sleeping, quietly, motionless...



These days it's fair to say that you don't use the words quiet, sleeping or motionless - ever, really. M+D aren't sure where she gets her energy from, but it's not from Dad...

Aannnyway - we had an ACE birthday party at our local hall.

Mum's first invitation list was nearly 200 people (inc. offspring), but when she saw the look on Dad's face she immediately dropped it to 100 (Dad: which is clearly a much more reasonable number.......?)



There were balloons, toys, cake, music, speed dating and vodka jellies.

Best of all there was a 'tunnel'. Tunnels are great, you can hide in them for ages and watch Dad panic about where you are. Then you can look all cute for a photo, like these:

Oh, and did we mention cake? Here it is proudly made by the Mum of one of Mum's friends husband's (or something). One half was Victoria Sponge, the other CHOCOLATE!



Now, because we're twins, we decided to have 2 parties.

So on our actual birthday Great Nana Trudy had everyone (well immediate family actually, not the 100 that came to the hall - she hasn't got that many chairs. (but she has got that many fish balls.)) round to hers for tea and cake.

We LOVE tea. Especially when it's served out of one of Great Nana Trudy's best china cups.

(and before you ask, it's very very very weak, and very very very milky - but it's still WAY better than aptimil!).





And finally our presents:

We got a ridiculous amount of presents, even though M+D specifically asked everyone not to buy them (are they MAD?!).

What they did do was set up a charity page for Evie with CLAPA (Cleft Lip And Palate Association) and suggest that if people wanted to buy something, a donation to the charity that is helping Evie would be the best present she could get (except diamonds, naturally).

https://www.bmycharity.com/V2/eviejackson

We are still amazed at everyone's generosity. So far we have raised over £440 - THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

However, much as we are altruistic philanthropists, the actual presents were way better, of which special thanks go to Great Nana Trudy, who bought us these amazing 'Cars':



Undoubtedly the finest feature of which is their ability to leave pink and blue marks all over the walls, to remind us where we've been.

Marvellous, says Dad.

And in the best spirit of predictable childishness, Evie quite rightly spent most of the day in the box:



ROLL ON YEAR 2!

11 months old - Joe pushes Evie around

There's two ways to look at this:

1) Joe is just like his old man - ever the gentleman and wouldn't want for Evie to get tired in the kitchen

2) Evie is just like her mum - can get her man to do just about anything.

we'll let you decide:

Now, we've told you all before how much we like food - the taste, the colour, the smell....

What we didn't realise is that you can also wear it! And if M+D aren't feeding us off a spoon (sometimes they give up if we flap our arms around loads or spit in their faces) we can self-applicate using our hands.

Here's Evie experimenting with a new sweet potato fake-tan face pack:

She's already had some interest from David 'The Duke' Dickinson from "Bargain Hunt"

And here's Joe getting ready for next Halloween:

Finally this month, Joe has been getting bored of using grunts to get his message across, so he's experimenting with some body language to see if it's any more effective:

10 months old - bedknobs & broomsticks (and Evie walking!)

This month 4 very very exciting things happened.
...and as Dermot O'Leary from X-Factor says "these are in no particular order"

(by the way that little Irish 'yoghurt' chappie will never win. Dad says that you should never trust anyone with hair that big)

1) We kidnapped M+D's 'sonic' toothbrushes.
Now, everyone's seen the Tombliboos clean their teeth - and you've got to admit, they're pretty quick.



And Mum says with the amount of junk we eat, we'd better look after our pearly whites. But we've gotta be honest, brushing is pretty boring, and we ain't got time for that.

So we stole M+Ds sonic things - they apparently do 30,000 strokes a minute!

And with only 6 teeth, this means we can finish brushing practically before we even start! = RESULT.

(We don't actually care what they do - we just like the fuzzy feeling you get when you hold them and stuff them in your mouth.)


buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2) We got 'Pyjamas'
Up until now we've been sleeping in 'sleepsuits' - which are pretty much the Ronseal of baby clothes.

This month we literally grew out of all our sleepsuits, and moved up to the grown up version which are called 'pyjamas' - which doesn't exactly describe what they are.

Apparently, the literal translation is 'leg garment'.
You'll all be glad to hear our versions cover more than just a leg.
However, we still haven't discovered why Evie's version includes a ridiculous hat.



And why anyone would want to put a banana in one is beyond us. There's clearly room for a whole fruit salad!

3) We discover the kitchen 'broom'
It has been said that we're not exactly the tidiest of eaters.
In fact, Dad once thought that a small hurricane had swept through the kitchen - but it was actually just the fallout from us devouring some salmon, peas and sweet potato.

So M+D use the 'broom' to sweep up all our debris.
The broom is ace. It's really long, has a tickly end and you can knock things off window ledges with it. You can also trip up over it and smash your nose on the wooden floor. That's not so ace.

Joe immediately understood what the broom was for, and started clearing up after himself.



Evie on the other hand, tried to play it.


'waaaaaaaap'

4) Evie learned how to walk
It turns out, despite her confusion over kitchen tools, that Evie is a quick learner.
Ever since Joe started crawling she hasn't been able to torment him quite so much, so she came up with a plan to keep him chasing after her:

9 months old - climbing, crawling and jumping

Who needs diets??
We can't understand why Dad keeps going on and on about not eating carbs.
We've been so active this month we've burned off our own body weight in Cheerios.

[You'll remember that last month Evie decided to stand.]
This month I decided to move things up a gear and alternate a crawl with a stand. This apparently is how you learn to 'climb'.
I can now climb almost 6 times my height without stopping.

Dad says this is roughly the same as Chris Bonnington climbing Everest, except there's no snow at the top of our stairs. Impressive huh!



Joe has been a little slower on the uptake, but this month finally got crawling sorted.
Now it's like "Strictly Come Crawling" - and man do we make perfect dance partners:



Check out our "hip-hop-trance-funk-tango":

This month we also went on holiday to the Lake District with Jack and Jamie who brought our Godparents along to carry their bags.

Dad and Uncle Dabba did some light engineering work to get us all into the car:


(Jack's in the boot, but because you can't see him apparently we weren't breaking any laws)

And Mum introduced us to 'al fresco' dining:



Evie got some new rattles:



But best of all we learned how to 'jump'.
Jack taught us how to do this on a 'trampoline':



Finally this month we decided to hold a competition to see who could get the biggest "awwww they're just so cute!" from our grandparents.

Joe thought he had it nailed with this one entitled "my first balloon"...



Sadly for Joe, Evie had other ideas.
Give her a ball and some blueberries and she'll melt someone's heart in a flash...

8 months old - goodbye bouncy chairs, hello ball pit!

Evie: "Dad - you're wrong. We're not too small for the bouncy chairs. You can't take them away, we need these as much as Joey and Chandler need their La-z-boys!"

Joe: "Evie - just pass me the tortillas and a beer - I think this is the episode where Yasmin Bleeth runs up the garden"



Well despite our protestations, M+D have taken our bouncy chairs away. Apparently we were too 'heavy' or something. This sucks.

However, since we've got the attention span of a Tombliboo, we've already gotten over it and moved onto greater things.

Evie: On the plus side, I can now 'stand' (almost) by myself. Standing is great. It doesn't last long, and it doesn't seem to achieve much, but it sure beats the crap out of sitting in a bouncy chair. Turns out chairs are actually rubbish, this is way more cool.



Joe: And I've got a new hat. It's got 'animals' on it. I've been asking Dad to do impersonations of them, and so far I think his 'elephant' is my favourite. Apparently a 'giraffe' doesn't actually have a voice so it's impossible to do impersonations of them. I wondered for a while how they communicate, and then Dad explained they are telepathetic. This is the reason why they've got small aerials on the top of their head. To send emails to other giraffes.

Dad sure knows his stuff.



We were also in luck this month because even though it's too cold to fill the paddling pool with water, M+D decided that it could easily double as a 'ball pit'.

Being in the ball pit is great fun, even if there are splinters from the decking poking us in the bum. We could stay in here all day, or at least until Joe has thrown all the balls over the side (that's in about 100 balls time by the way - which is roughly 20 minutes at his current rate)



Being in the ball pit also made us realise how lucky we were to be in the garden in September:

Evie reflected on how the sunlight shining through the leaves casts a myriad of shadows and offers endless hues of green and turquoise.



Joe reflected that it's been at least 4 minutes since his last rice cake....

7 months old - teething, talking, typing!

Sigh - well it looks like it's the end of summer already (well it is August after all...), and Dad had only just sorted out the outdoor pool as well. Here we are testing it out and praying for sunshine so that we can fill it up...



...and then M+D remembered that Joe has discovered 'grass' and (like father like son) he's keen to get his hands on some...



...the pool is now back in the shed.

Joe: "sigh - I love the garden, but it looks like it's all over until next year"
Evie: "never mind, now that you can crawl I can stitch you up for all the mess I made indoors!"



We've mentioned before that Dad was born in Scotland, which means he simply can't walk past a bargain, so imagine our surprise (not) when he came back the other day with 2 new high chairs!



we were so impressed that we thought it was only fair to reward the poor bloke with some impromptu talking:



Which loosely translates as:
"yes Dad, they're lovely chairs, and the sales lady certainly didn't see you coming, and who would've thought you could have fitted both in the boot of your car, NOW GET ON WITH THE FOOD YOU SAD PENNY-PINCHING MUPPET!"

This month Mum has introduced us to 'snacks'.
It started with carrot sticks and cucumber sticks, which are kind of ok, because you can actually chew them (or pop them in sideways - which is great for parents of a nervous disposition).
Next she tried Joe on a 'rusk' - which don't so much get chewed, as worn....



In response to 'snacks' we've started growing 'teeth'.
Teeth help us chew, and they also help us scream at the tops of our voices in the middle of the night for no reason.

They also give us ruddy cheeks, make us dribble like drainpipes, and make us poop with un-nerving frequency. Teeth are also quite difficult to photograph, but you know by now that Dad doesn't give up easily:



On the educational front, Dad has wasted no time teaching us all about 'maps'.
Mum's over the moon because quite frankly after 7 years of it she's just about had enough.

Here we are showing our appreciation of the Ordnance Survey:



All we know right now is that maps are only marginally less tasty than rusks.
(although to be fair they are quite chewy)

Finally this month, Joe helped Dad out in the office.

Here is his first email:

" hlkkmn9ullhlhmnm#kgvbtyh `zZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ65651577/666666666666666666666666777777777777777777777777777777777777777/*/oe vvvff x c \xxxxxxxx\fgssssssssztxczzn bUJHM7Hgy +.m, +68/52
'',vcc\a v+++--++++++++++++++-##]
++++++ikik4e3.85. bjhh4959595*/ 39*63333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333338/8/8/8/8/8/8 g 4"



Joe is now applying to Bletchley to join the codebreakers team.

6 months old - the start of monthly reviews

Soooooo - you're maybe wondering where we've been - it's been a while since we blogged, and there's PLENTY to tell you all about.

Dad decided that weekly blogging was a mug's game, so from here on in it'll be monthly updates
- so strap yourself in for a bumper issue!

First up, Mum's still introducing us to all sorts of 'music' - and we still LOVE it.
To celebrate our favourite genre we got all dressed up in the t-shirts Dad's mate Paul gave us:


(this was when we were listening to Magic FM - it was a Queen special!)

Next up, Evie's started to 'laugh'. The funniest thing about this is that Evie doesn't actually realise how funny it is. And there's nothing better at the end of the day for putting a smile on your face than listening to this:



Towards the end of the day, we now take a 'bath' together. This is brilliant fun. Evie's has learned how to splash the water, and Joe has learned how to poo in there too.



On the food front, Mum has started feeding us outside when the sun's out. Here we are sporting the next line of "Jackson Headgear" that M+D continue to fashion out of other bits of clothing (see previous entry of http://theadventuresofjoeandeviejackson.blogspot.com/2008/03/11-weeks-old-its-all-about-joe.html)




(according to Cosmopolitan magazine the muslin is this year's 'must have' accessory)

We've also been to another fesitval - this one was Latitude in Suffolk, and this time we made our own music with instruments that Nana Linda brought back from Brighton.

We had an audience of 3.
(which Dad says was only marginally worse than some of the bands on stage)

The phone hasn't exactly been ringing off the hook, but we're sure our first single will be on YouTube soon.



Oh, and Joe had to take Iggle Piggle with him - for moral support or something.



Finally, we just can't stop being cute. This is all very well and good, but Dad's getting a little tired of endlessly running into the house for the camera when we do anything remotely photoworthy.

Baby hoodie anyone?

26 weeks old - 6 months!! and our first holiday

Lord Belborough and Brackett may well have thought that time flies by when you're the driver of a train (there's a test for you...), but I bet they didn't figure on how fast time flies when you're a pair of twins in PB.

6 months already - and only a few scars to show for it.

This week to celebrate our anniversary (we don't know the word for a half yearly celebration) M+D took us to Brighton on holiday.

We met loads of M+D's friends (Marv Jo Rosie & George, Lara, Katie & Lyla, Paul, Michelle, Darren Sophie & Charlie, and our cousins Fiona Eric Louis & Samuel) but one of the highlights was having our photos taken by Dad's mate Paul, who is a professional photographer (check out his website at blueturtlestudio)

here's a selection of his handiwork:











And to finish off - here's two of our shots:

From Dad "Confusious say: Yes it will frickin fit":



From Mum: "Supersonic ducks":